Walking into Hat Yai

Malaysians are a bunch of lucky lads. Seriously.

Because unlike citizens of other countries who have to either drive or fly to travel into Thailand, we can just walk there.

Here’s how you can travel to Hat Yai, Thailand. By Foot.

1. Find your way to Changloon, Kedah. As you approach the little town, you will see a lot of travel agents offering transportation services to fetch tourists over to Hat Yai. Before you enter Thailand, you will reach the Kedah - Thailand border, where you’re required to alight your vehicle and get your passport stamped.

The Border Stone at Kedah

2. Proceed to the Immigration counter by foot, and queue up there.

Line up Here...

 3. While waiting for your turn to get your passport stamped, be sure to indulge yourself with some Thaigrish (Thai English).

2. If "alien" stays in the kingdom more than ...

... 90 days, he or she must notify the "cuurent" ...

... immigration office within 24 hours "othervise" ...

... There will be a maximum fine of 5000 baht ...

4. Next, do this. I’m not going to elaborate more on this action. The photo is self explanatory

They call it "OT" (Overtime). Well, it's an open secret. Do it to avoid unnecessary problems.

5. Get your passport stamped, and then voila! You’re in Thailand already!

I've just walked into Thailand...

It was raining quite heavily as we entered our van and proceeded straight to Hat Yai town. Like any typical Thai city, you will definitely notice the following :

1. Motorbike riders without helmets. If you’re lucky you can sometimes see up to 5 people on one bike.

Motorbike riders without helmets.

 2. Loads…. and loads… of portraits of the King.

The most revered person in Thailand. The King.

3. And a fantastic network of “advanced” (or more appropriately - entangled) electricity cables.

Much more advanced than those found in Malaysia.

We stayed at the heart of the city centre in Novotel, a hotel with a good network of chains around the world.

Be sure to check out their suites (it will set you back around B$4500 per night during non-peak seasons)…

The Deluxe Suite

It has a private lift and a grand walkway towards the room.

… and the beautiful receptionist who will bring you for a guided tour to your room…

She will take you for a tour in your newly rented room...

One thing I really like about Thailand is the availability of Pork Burgers in McDonald’s, which you will never find anywhere in Malaysia. The only other place I’ve been to with Pork Burgers in McDonald’s is China.

Samurai Pork Burger set...

Add some fries in between the bun and Yum yum yum...

Hat Yai is not like the bustling city of Bangkok, so at first I thought it’s going to be a slow, simple town without those fashionistas like those from Harajuku, Japan. However, I was quite shocked to see this guy (or girl… I’m not sure) who happens to be a promoter of a jewelry booth, with this type of make up :

Front View

 !@#$%^&* Somebody KILL ME!

Side View

Back View

I’ll pay you 50 cents if you dare to go to work with this kind of make up :-) 

Another thing I noticed about Thailand is the racial and religious integration, which in my humble opinion, more open and less sensitive compared to Malaysia. Yes, no doubt that there are more riots and fanatics bombing everywhere to get media attention in Thailand, but at the same time, you won’t see muslims and chinese having their food stalls parked side by side anywhere in Malaysia except in Kelantan.

Pork Porridge or Nasi Lemak, anyone?

And the best part is that the customers are completely okay about it. You will see people in tudungs (head scarfs) and thai customers sitting next to each other eating their own food and neither parties wouldn’t mind at all.

One advice that I always give to my friends is that if you want to grab the best food in a foreign place you’re visiting, go to those places where the locals frequent. Not the tourist areas.

One restaurant I want to recommend to you all in Hat Yai is Gan Ying Restaurant. It’s a chinese restaurant packed with local thai people. Just hop on into one of those many Tuk Tuks in Hat Yai and tell the driver that you want to go to Gan Ying Restaurant. 

A view of the restaurant.

We have to stand 15 minutes and wait for tables.

One of their most famous dish - Steamed Pork Arm.

I'm not a pork lover, but I think this tastes really good...

One word about the Tuk Tuk. If you’re a tall person, you may have to suffer and lay low for a while during the ride, especially if the Tuk Tuks are going through bumpy roads. It’s gonna hurt your neck a bit.

Better squat than sit.

Lastly, be sure to taste the local Thai beers. This time I went for Chang Beer, the official beer for Everton Football Club.

I like it.

But remember don’t drink and drive. Or you’re gonna end up like this.

Self explanatory :-)

Cheers!

Tags: Chang Beer, Fashion Disasters, Gan Ying Restaurant, Hat Yai, Makeup Disasters, McDonald's, Novotel, Pork Burgers, Thai, Thai King, Thaigrish, Thailand, Tuk Tuk

Chingrish

China is a fascinating country. If you ask me, I think it’s a country where the best of the both extremes can be found. For example,

Great civilization.

Shanghai, an icon of Chinese capitalism.

And Not-so-great-civilization.

Chinese toilets, an icon of Chinese Slum-doggylization.

But to me one of the best things to notice is the command of English of the Chinese there. Despite the Chinese government’s claim that their people’s level of English has increased dramatically (which I believe it’s true), we will still see some fantastic Chingrish being used there. A visit to a local restaurant will leave you in awe with this kind of menu…

Chingrish 1

Chingrish 2

Chingrish 3

Chingrish 4

So let’s visit China today!

Tags: China, China Travel, Chinese, English Level, Engrish

Let’s Get Drunk to Help Chinese Schools!

Recently you may have seen an advertisement from Guinness Anchor Berhad (GAB) anywhere from newspapers to local restaurants that looks something like this.

So since the deadline of this program has already passed (9th Feb 2009), I shall pen down some of my views about this program.

Help GAB raise RM2.5 million for Chinese Schools. By getting tipsy. Or better still. Drunk.

I can’t help but feeling a bit pissed after seeing these series of advertisements, because maybe to you, this advertisement’s tagline is :

Help Us Raise RM2,500,000 for Chinese Education.

To me, the tagline reads :

Get Tipsy or Pissed Drunk in order to help Chinese Education or we ain’t gonna donate a freaking cent to them, You Drunkard!

In other words, to help donate more money to build Chinese Education, you should buy more Booze.

Well of course, you can always say to me, “I only buy but never drink them mah… For Chinese Education’s sake!” 

And I will say to you, “Cut your bullshit because no one will buy Booze because they want to help Chinese Education. They buy because they want to drink them!”

Like my friend here.

Normal Case.

And this friend.

Serious Case.

And this friend.

Gone Case.

So apparently what happens in this program is that whenever you buy any product from GAB, the company will donate a certain amount of money to a Chinese School in that vicinity.

1. 33 cents for every big bottle of Tiger, Guinness, Heineken or Anchor.

2. RM1.00 for every 2 jugs or 1 bucket of Tiger, Guinness or Heineken.

3. RM3.33 for every 27 can pack of Tiger, Guinness or Heineken.

4. RM1.33 for every 15 can pack of Anchor.

5. 50 cents for every 24 can pack of Anglia Shandy.

According to the Global Alcohol Policy Alliance, “Malaysia, though a small country, is the tenth largest consumer of alcohol in the world. Each year Malaysians spend over US$500million on alcohol.”

And “There are two main breweries, which are located in or near the capital city of Kuala Lumpur. Guinness Anchor Berhad is a joint venture between Guinness and Asia Pacific Breweries of Singapore, itself a joint venture with Heineken and a local soft drinks company. Carlsberg controls the largest shares of Carlsberg Brewery Malaysia Berhad.”

Ladies and Gentlemen. Assuming that GAB has a market share of say… 20% ONLY out of the US$500 million per year, that will make up to around US$100 million per year worth of revenue. That’s RM330 million based on today’s exchange rate. Perhaps higher.

And say if out of that RM350 million, GAB has a net profit of ONLY 3% after deducting expenses and dividends and taxes.

That’s RM10.5 million.

What’s RM2.5 million to GAB then? They could have just donated the money to Chinese Education, and take the money used on these printed advertisements to spend on a National Broadcast on how generous they are to Chinese Schools, instead of asking the public to “Help” them to help these Chinese Schools.

Because people ARE going to get drunk anyway, and they ARE going to buy GAB products anyway.

So why wanna have such a sarcastic campaign?

Tags: alcohol, alcohol problem in Malaysia, Anchor, Beer, Chinese Schools, drinking, GAB, Global Alcohol Policy Alliance, Guinness, Guinness Anchor Berhad, Heineken, Malaysia, Tiger

Hello World. Again.

Hello again, World.

I just realized that I haven’t been blogging for around 2 months now.

What a freaking long time.

Checking back on my visitor stats, I can only relate the current situation of my blog to the current situation of the economy; My visitor stats has plunged through the ground.

Like the economy, my readership has plunged through the ground.

Just in case you lost touch about my news, I’m currently in Kluang working in a Palm Oil Mill. It’s a really big switch for me; I’ve been accustomed to the hectic life working in the advertising industry for the past couple of years, and all of a sudden I’m in this middle of the jungle, living a simple and primitive life.

Primitive.

Here’s a glimpse :

1. Environment

Unlike the polluted, pimple-causing air quality in big cities like Kuala Lumpur, the air quality here is fresh. So fresh is the air that the animals living in this place, e.g. Wild Chickens, can FLY. Have you seen a chicken that could fly? Come visit me and I’ll show you. Tried to snap photos of these chickens flying but they disappear too fast.

Green all over.

To deliver the FFB (Fresh Oil Palm Fruit Bunch) from the inner parts of the estate which are normally inaccessible by tractors and trucks to the main roads, workers here opt for a more efficient, more versatile mode of transport :

Buffaloes are very strong animals and can move through virtually anywhere, including muddy areas.

That’s right. Buffaloes. These animals are strong and versatile. They can move through any type of terrain, and that’s really good news for estate harvesters who once upon a time, had to carry these fruits (which can weigh up to 25 to 30 kilos) from deep within the estate to the main roads for the tractors to pick up.

Best way to save Petrol.

They are free from Mad Cow’s Disease too. The management will give these guys a jab once every month just to make sure they don’t go gila babi.

And it’s a good way to save petrol.

Animals here are very united, and they take good care of each other. Sights like this one can be seen every where in this place.

Storks and Buffaloes live in harmony here in a Symbiotic relationship.

There were about 10 storks on these 2 buffaloes before I took this shot. They just flew away when I was walking towards them to snap this photo.

How I wish our politicians in Malaysia can be like them.

2. My Home in the Jungle

My home in the jungle.

The company provides me with a semi-detached home situated about 5 minutes away from the oil mill. It’s a huge and spacious house with 3 bedrooms, all with bathroom attached. They also provide me a cleaner that will come once every 2 days to clean up the house and wash my clothes. A gardener will come once every 2 weeks to trim the grass and plants. It has a compound around twice the size of the house, good for a garden BBQ party, or - for those of you who want to get tanned - Sunbathing.

Get a healthy tan in the Jungle with me today!

So come visit me in Kluang today!

… to be continued.

Tags: buffaloes, flintstones, Jonathan Fun, jungle life, nature, oil palm estate, palm oil mill

Back on the Grid

Hi there people. I’m back.

Just transfered my domain to another server at exabytes. The down side? I’ve lost almost all my previous entries. Have to start all over again. Sigh.

My Home in the Jungle.

I’ve just got myself a Maxis Broadband service, which means I can now go online at my home on top of the tree in the Jungle. Tried to apply for a land line for Streamyx but after doing a survey 2 days ago, they said there’s no port or something like that.

My internet life line from now on.

So no choice, have to settle for wireless broadband. The speed? In areas with no 3G coverage, it’s 56kbps.

Okay. You can congratulate me for traveling back to stone age now.

Cheers and see you guys later!

Tags: Broadband, Home, House, Internet, Jonathan Fun, Jungle, Life, Maxis, Oil Palm Estates, Oil Palm Mills