Dating Girls of Different Races – Part 1
Here’s some information about what you should expect when dating girls of different races. Now with Bonus races! Just scroll down.
The Chinese Ah Moi
Photo from www.vvens.com
The Chase You call and text her the whole day. She doesn’t seemed to be interested. You stop after 2 weeks. She calls and text you back. And she scolds you for not texting or calling her.
The First Date You get to buy her an expensive dinner. And she tells you her parents need her to be back by 12. Nothing happens.
The Second Date You buy her an even more expensive dinner and plus an expensive, thoughtful gift. After dinner she tells you she’s got to attend this birthday party of her friend’s friend’s friend. She says thanks for the gift. You sit there as she rushes out the restaurant. Siao Siao Lan. Nothing happens.
The Third Date You usually won’t reach the third date because you are smart enough to realize that nothing is ever going to happen. If she says that she will call or text you “one fine day”. Just cross your fingers and be hopeful. Pray more. Say more “Hail Mary’s” 
The Indian Tangkechi
The Chase You tell her how you’re interested in Shah Rukh Khan and how meaningful Hindustan movies are. She responds by thinking you’re like Shah Rukh Khan. Try not to eat salty food as it will cause your hair to drop off; They generally like hairy people
The First Date You bring her to someplace with mountain views, ponds, railway tracks, and trees. And both of you sing, dance, and run all over the place. And out of nowhere 200 people just appears and dance along both of you at the background. Like this.
The Second Date You meet her parents and set the wedding date. You demand a higher dauri.
The Third Date Wedding night.
The Malay Sharifah
The Chase You borrow a Honda EX5 cub motorbike from a friend and stop in front of her house to chat with her every night. You will sit on the bike with your helmet hanging on the right hand side of the motor handle. She will stand with one hand leaning against her gate. You stroke your oily hair with your hands and she strokes her cat with her palms. Both of you chat until Waktu Subuh.
The First Date You get to kiss her goodnight. She blushes until the next day.
The Second Date You get to touch her all over the place and make out a bit. At the beach. Or at some parking lot.
The Third Date She moves in. A week later, her father, 4 mothers, 18 sisters, 20 brothers and all their kids, 16 grandmothers, and 268 cousins all move in. And you get to repeat this 4 times in your life time.
The White Jane Doe
Photo from businessweek.com
The Chase
You bump into her at the locker. You look at her. She looks at you. Both of you get closer. Both of you french kiss.
The First Date
You both get drunk and have sex.
The Second Date
You both get drunk and have sex.
30th Anniversary
You take viagra and have sex.
Arab Al-Katijah
The Chase
You randomly make eye contact with any one of them. Because they seem all the same. Hard to differentiate. You tiam-miu-tiam-ping-ping and simply make a choice.
The First Date
Her dad, mom, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunties, friends and the entire Arab community finds out. It gets even more complicated if she’s related to Saddam Hussein.
The Second Date
You are either shot dead or stoned to death.
The Third Date
Not Applicable.
BONUS!
Japanese Kawaii-Neh
The Chase
Try to speak fluent English, even if you can’t. Japanese women are generally quite impressed with English-speaking men, because they’re all very amazed at how fast we can converse in English, like how we are amazed how fast they can speak Japanese. Of course, learning the Japanese language yourself will be an advantage. Otherwise, remembering the word “Yamateh” would be sufficient.
The First Date
You will ask her everything you need about Nomikai. Nomikai is a party held among groups of friends at a cafe or bar, more known as Izakaya in Japanese. You show her some cute photos of dogs and cats on your mobile phone. She is delighted. After that you get to do whatever you want with her.
The Second Date
You follow her to the Nomikai at an Izakaya. There you met a lot of her girlfriends. You pick the best seat and you get to know as many other of her friends as possible.
The Third Date
You will bring the girl you met at the Nomikai out instead of her.
Singaporean Lionesses
Women of Pride and Class. I mean, they deserve it. Look at Singapore today compared to the Poor Boleh-land.
The Chase
You have to submit a personal resume to her to prove that you have at least the basic 5 C’s. Namely Cash, Credit Card, Condominium, Car, and Career. Be warned that only shortlisted candidates will be informed. Via email or sms.
The First Date
You attend your first interview with her at Ochard Road. She brings you to Ngee Ann City and do a practical test on you in the Louis Vuitton and Prada outlets so as to be able to verify the authenticity of your resume. Be careful not to over react when you see the price tags.
The Second Date
Your second interview. This time at Clarke Quay. She will bring you to Zouk with her friends and they will collectively judge whether you are compatible with her. You are hinted to buy her and her group of friends a few bottles of MOET champagne. You’d better just tuck your balls in and do it.
The Third Date
Both of you get a little horny and she suggests that you take her home. You try not to let her know that you stay in a HDB Flat and suggests a 5 star hotel instead. You go on like this, buying her Tiffany’s, Cartier’s and bringing her out to expensive places, until you either blow your cover or the blow your bank account.
So, which girls of which race you would rather date then?
I’ve come up with a Part 2 of this topic based on some public requests. Here it is.
Cheers!
About this entry
You’re currently reading “Dating Girls of Different Races – Part 1,” an entry on jonathanfun.com
- Published:
- 12.10.08 / 9pm
- Tags:
- 5 C's, ah moi, arabs, Car, Career, Cash, Chinese, Condominium, Credit Card, dancing, dating, different races, expectations, girls, going after girls, helmet, hindustan, Honda EX5, indians, japanese, khatijah, ladies, love, malays, marriage, motorbike, mountain views, ponds, races, railway tracks, relationships, sex, shah rukh khan, sharifah, singaporeans, tangkechi, waktu subuh, women
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12.11.08 / 8am
what?? you are even interested with Arab Al-Katijah???? hahaha funny u…
anyway, did you really date so many…..”races”??? -_-”
=D
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12.11.08 / 9am
Take that black… er… robe? (i don’t know exactly what is it) and you will one of the most beautiful people on earth
I dare say this because I was in KLCC one day a long time ago and I saw this Katijah-in-Black walking into this Ferragammo boutique with her husband I think. I got curious and stood outside the boutique to watch her. She picked up a few garments and went into the fitting room to try it out and holy cow when she walked out of the fitting room to show her husband the outfit… Wah lan eh… Aiswarya Rai also cannot fight man… Haha…
Anyway, it is with great sadness to inform you that I’ve never dated people of so many “races”. They all have much better taste
-
12.11.08 / 9am
how many races u date before?
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12.11.08 / 9am
How a bout Japanese girls? Would love to hear some of these. I think they are the more “innocent” type? *Drools*
There are Africans, Italians and many more right? ^.^ *Grin*
-
Michael Scofield (prisonsurvivor) : 1 race. The Malaysian race
Shinky : Hmm… Let me have a good thought about it and I’ll reupdate this post k! Check back in erm… a few hours perhaps?
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12.11.08 / 11am
LOL! This is a very entertaining post!
From what I gathered from your post:
Chinese: All chinese females are single and not available. Chinese will extinct in the next 100yrs
Indian: All indians are busybody.
Malays: 20%male/80% female population
Whites: Give them booze, and you have a bunny who can produce
Al-????: To survive, one date is the max. More than dead, whole population of Al will dieI guess if they were to make a movie 2000years later.
Whites are the main actors, while indians are the supports. WEll, a couple of malays here and there, but the chinese and Als are definitely extinct by then. -
12.11.08 / 11am
hahaha, one funny one!
i’d rather date a chinese, coz im not chinese… not being racist..but..it’s just…….
i think you understand =P
-
3.8 : You know what I think? I feel that 2000 years later we will all have only 1 race. Because the Chinese and the Indians are the largest population in the world, and they will be everywhere. And they pound or get pounded by everybody. After centuries of mixing here and there, you might just have 1 race with 1 color no one can differentiate! Cool right?
Kenwooi : Chinese girls are alright
Some can be quite troublesome and naggy, but they are generally nice people. Watch out for their mothers tough. Mother in Laws are the hardest people to handle in the world! -
12.11.08 / 12pm
Hahahahahahhaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good one!
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mother in laws again? seems like you must have quite an experience with them before?
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12.11.08 / 1pm
Ha ha… hilarious
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Lisa : You have no idea
I wouldn’t use the word “them” because that means I have more than 1 mother in laws before. Haha. I would say is “her”. Singular. Not Plural. Haha.Fabian : You have a blog I can visit?
Terra : Cheers!
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Hey, what about another bonus for this blog?
A malaysian ? since you throw in Jap and Singaporean =p
hahah *ignore me*
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12.12.08 / 12am
ehem.. this mother in law refers to whose mother ar?
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by the way, Cody looks adorable here.
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Serina : Ehem… not yours… not yours… haha… don’t worry…
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Lisa : Malaysians ar… erm… haha… oh well, if you want me to write then I’ll write lor. After all I have a case already in point
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12.12.08 / 3pm
Thailand girl… u hav to learn their Thai, if nt they will tell u “No Engelish, wi oni nou Thai!”
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12.12.08 / 7pm
WHITE WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex; she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having
sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and never get head again.CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you already realized
nothing is going to happen.INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.MEXICAN/CUBAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex
in the back of her car.
Second Date: She’s pregnant!
Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend,
her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s
girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s boyfriend and his three kids
move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home
that used to be yours. -
Lolx. The comments are equally interesting as the post! ^.^
Especially the Mother-In-Law Part. I once read a joke that sounds this:Husband to wife: No! I don’t hate your relatives! In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.
ROTFLOL!
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12.15.08 / 11am
[...] you wish to read Part 1 of this topic, Here it is.SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “Dating Girls of Different Races – Part 2″, url: [...]
-
Joseph : Nice one. We always love our wife’s mother-in-law better
It’s only sensible to do so right? Haha… -
7.14.09 / 12pm
[...] If you wish to read Part 1 of this topic, Here it is. [...]
-
7.15.09 / 12am
[...] Dating Girls of Different Races : Part 1 – Popular but controversial. I did received some angry emails from some girls after I wrote [...]
-
2.1.10 / 8pm
[...] thought of this : http://www.jonathanfun.com/2008/12/dating-girls-of-different-races/ @vvens [...]
-
3.22.10 / 11pm
hahahaha… u must have very bad experiences… hehehehe
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Haha… You bet
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