|TalkingCock.com is still on hiatus, but we felt this piece of news was too important: Malaysia has issued a warning to Singaporeans that only Malaysians are allowed to use the word ‘Lah’.
This latest move comes after earlier claims that popular dishes like chicken rice and bak kut teh were originally Malaysia’s, and after a string ofattacks on churches following a controversy over whether only Muslims are entitled to use the word ‘Allah’ for God.
“Once again, Singaporeans have shown how insensitive they are to us, lah,” said Malaysian government spokesman Abdullah bin Lalalah. “Even our language they also take, lah!”
When asked what steps Malaysia would do to enforce its claim on the word ‘lah’, Mr. Abdullah replied, “You wait and see, lah!”
Already, several Singaporeans visiting Johor have been arrested for exclaiming “Alamak!” when being issued summonses by the Johor Baru traffic police. “We count that as two offences,” said Mr. Abdullah. “They have illegally used both ‘lah’ and ‘Allah’.”
TalkingCock.com conducted an informal poll of Singaporeans asking them what they would do if they could not use the word ‘Lah’, and the responses are as follows:
Don’t use, lor – 65%
Cannot use, meh? – 10%
Malaysia damn wu liao, hor? – 5%
When asked if the Malaysian government’s claim on the word ‘Lah’ was yet another manufactured crisis to distract Malaysians from their own internal governance problems, Mr. Abdullah replied, “Eh! Look over there! Is that Bigfoot?!”