Job Vacancy: Mothers

On May 8, 2011, in Announcements, Self Reflection, Sharings, by jonathanfun

Family,  an established domestic organization, is looking for enthusiastic and astute individuals with an ambition to work with commitment and determination to fill the position of :

Mothers

Duties and responsibilities:

  • Housekeeper/Maid
    You are expected to keep the home clean at all times, which includes sweeping, dusting, mopping, washing the dishes, clothes, curtains, cushion covers, ironing and cleaning rubbish your kids (and husband) throw all over the house. You are also responsible for gardening and lawn mowing at times. Even if you have a maid, you are expected to communicate with and instruct the maid on what to do, and that can be tiring at times if you have a foreign maid that does not speak your language.
  • Chef
    To make breakfast, lunch and dinner for your husband and children on a daily basis, and you are expected to put up with negative remarks from them on how lousy or tasteless your cooking is. You will need to plan and stock up the groceries and supplies in the kitchen too.
  • Babysitter
    To look after your children (and husband) and ensure that they are safe, clean and well-fed at all times. During babysitting sessions you are also expected to teach them on how to behave and to help them with their homework/assignments/projects, and when they start crying and storming around the house when they disagree with you, it is your responsibility to tame them and preserve harmony within the family while making sure they learn their lesson and solve their problems.
  • Driver
    An important responsibility of this position is to wake up at 5am in the morning to get prepared, and chauffeur your children to and fro from schools, tuition centers, piano, ballet and swimming lessons, etc. while putting up with the traffic jams and security risks (i.e: robbery, accidents) that comes along with it, all on a daily basis.
  • Referee
    You will be expected to play the role of a referee when your children “organize” wrestling/boxing/shouting matches.
  • Discipline Master
    You are to maintain discipline and good behavior of your children at all times, and this may include dishing out suitable punishment for every “crime” committed by your children.
  • Teacher/Coach
    Preparing your children for school exams, assignments, projects and competitions of all sorts. You are expected to encourage, nag and sometimes scold them in the process.
  • Telephone Operator
    Screening telephone calls, inquiries and requests, and handling them when appropriate for your husband and children.
  • Lost and Found Department Manager
    To keep track of missing books, stationary, clothes, hand phones, keys, etc. for your children and husband. You must always know where their missing things are.
  • PR Officer
    Meeting and greeting people, young and old. Organizing and coordinating parties and dinner functions during festive seasons and birthdays.
  • Psychiatrist
    You are expected to listen attentively to rants and complaints from your children on how lousy their teachers are, how naughty their classmates are, and how that big bully in class applied glue to your child’s chair in school, after which you are to give useful and constructive advice to ensure they are comforted. The husband will also occasionally go on a roll about their bosses and colleagues, so you are also expected to lend a ear and to ensure that he is able to sleep soundly everyday and wake up feeling recharged and enthusiastic for work.
  • Nurse (sometimes Doctor)
    At times, your children may come home crying and screaming while pointing at that wound on their knees after falling off their bicycles. You are to also expect your husband to come home from a game of badminton, limping, after he sprained his ankle accidentally while trying to be like Lee Chong Wei. In situations like this, you are to help clean, apply medicine as necessary, bandage the wound, and nurse them back to health. When they fall sick, you are expected to know a bit about traditional medicine so that you could go to that Chinese traditional medicine shop to buy the necessary ingredients to make herbal soup for them to expedite their recovery.
  • Personal Assistant to Alpha Male at Home
    Maintaining diaries, making appointments, traveling schedule and itineraries, taking dictation, managing, handling and coping your husband’s personal and business needs, matters, issues, and tantrums.
  • Banker
    You are expected to have funds ready anytime for your children and husband when they are running low on cash. You are not allowed to charge interest.
  • Holiday Planner and Luggage Coordinator
    Job functions are self explanatory.

Skills requirement:

  • Good communication skills
    Must be clear, avoid any misunderstanding and able to keep her composure. Required to have constant interaction with parties from both internal and external. Must be good in both verbal and written skills.
  • Have pleasant personality and exceptional patience
    Must be hard working, bright, attentive, polite, courteous, assertive, etc. If necessary, required to deal with irate husband and children suddenly unhappy for reasons unexplained.
  • Focus on solving the problem before it goes out of hand
    Requires clarity of thought, maturity and good understanding of the requirements of the husband and children.
  • Effective time management and organizational skills
    Highly organized, detail oriented, handle work with care and accuracy with good prioritization skills.
  • Flexibility
    Must be highly adaptable and quick to respond to last minute changes and skilful in damage-control. Be ready to handle any task toss by the husband and children.

Remuneration and Benefits:

  • No salary.
  • No appraisals or increments.
  • No appreciation.
  • No bonus.
  • No promotions.
  • Medical leaves are strictly not allowed.
  • Long term rewards and returns will only come after years of hardship and dedication put into all of the job functions state above, when your children grow up to become good and responsible citizens.

Every mother is a working mother. All the songs and poems in this world that we write about them will never be enough to describe  their sacrifices for us. It takes much more than a day dedicated for them, or a dinner party to celebrate their existence. Mother’s Day should be celebrated everyday.

Happy Mother’s Day. I love you, mum.

P/S: Thank you Padma Hannah Zachariah.

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