GROs or Prostitutes are people who will provide a certain service (eg. Sex) to a Client in exchange of money.

So he thinks he can expect the same reciprocal actions or “service” (in this case votes) just by declaring that he could just make deals and give money away. Watch this video, and then watch the next one.

I guess he might have watched this video before making this speech.

Imagine this video being broadcasted all over the world for others to see. How would other countries view our PM, and consequently, Malaysia?

Shame. A complete shame to our nation’s pride and dignity.

Alex Ferguson and TM Ceo Datuk Zamzam

The deal will make TM the official integrated telecommunications partner of the English Premier League in Malaysia, with rights to produce and distribute Manchester United merchandizes. This partnership with allow TM to broadcast and spread its brand image to 4.2 million MU fans in Malaysia and hundreds of millions football fans around the world.

Though the financial details of the sponsorship have yet to be disclosed, being accustomed to the culture of Boleh-land, I have a strong feeling that the sponsorship amount for this deal is not going to be small.

After all, we everything also Boleh, everything also want to be number 1 :

1 Malaysia also 1.

1 Utama also 1.

1 Borneo also 1.

1 Tan Mee also 1.

And guess who’s the actual sponsors? You. Me. The tax and bill payers.

Congratulations people!

So I’m guessing that beginning next EPL season, we should be seeing some dynamic and innovative changes to the Manchester United image. Here are my speculations :

First, the TM logo will be emblazoned on the beautiful jersey of Manchester United.

This is the old design. So boring, right?

AIG is Boring.

Unlike the new design, way much COOLER!

TM is Cool!

This is to signify the strength of a Malaysian conglomerate taking over from AIG, one of the largest insurance companies in the world.

So what? AIG only mah. They also now facing financial problems what. Not like TM, very the strong! Got government to back them!

To help further propagate and market the 1 Malaysia agenda, all Manchester United Stores will be selling this jersey at 53% discount.

53% off!

The discount is to commemorate our 53 years of merdeka from the British! 47% will be subsidized by the Malaysian government.

For those who hate the 1 Malaysia logo, they will have a more neutral design to cater for people with different tastes

This one not so Geli.

Lastly, to further promote our Malaysia culture and heritage, they will be also coming out with a special edition jersey, only to be worn during the Champions League Final.

The Special Edition of MU jersey. Must BUY!

THE BATIK MU JERSEY.

If Endon (ex PM’s wife) were still alive, she will SO HAPPY to see this!

Even Sir Alex Ferguson will be a big supporter of our traditional fabric.

He will be wearing this at the training grounds and no one will take him seriously!

I think I’ll become an Arsenal fan for the next 5 years.

Arsenal, got any openings in your Fan Club?

Except, only, that I manage to take a break from work, and spend some time with family and friends.

Perhaps it’s due to the fact that we are all grown ups now and the excitement for the celebration we once had as children have seemed to fade in time.

It’s odd. Because this is the first time in my generation, Chinese New Year coincides with Valentine’s Day this year. It’s supposed to not only be full of excitement and fire crackers, it’s supposed to be also full of Love.

Where is the Love ???

Even this Ah Pek doesn’t look like he’s excited.

Maybe he got less ang pau this year because his children’s bonuses all kena potong. Hmmm… Speaking of bonuses

Perhaps it could also be due to the economy. Despite government claims that we are out of the financial crisis, a chat with the local business owners will give you pretty much a conviction that what the government say is far from true.

This chinese druggy looks like he’s pek chek-ing with his ledgers.

And this stall owner shared with me how quiet the market is.

Anyhow, as an optimists, I believe the year of the Tiger will be better, and even if it’s going to turn out to be otherwise, well, we’ll just continue hoping that the year ahead will be, erm, better

So I wish each and every one of my readers and friends :

1. May this Chinese New Year brings harmony, peace to you and your family members. 团团圆圆！Just like this Furball flower.

2. May you be prosperous not only in health, but also in wealth. All year round.

3. May the God of Wealth accompany you everywhere, even to sleep!

4. May you be lucky and ong all year round!

5. And may you be surrounded by best of friends, relatives and “expensive people” (贵人)! Just like how this photo is packed with Lanterns!

Happy Chinese New Year!

P.S : Photos from Jalan Bunga Raya and Kee Ann Road, Malacca, Malaysia.

We are a nation with a potpourri of healthy, tolerant, understanding, harmonious, polite, and hospitable people.

The Beautiful side of Malaysians.

At the same time, we also have a pool of hideous, insensitive, selfish, moronic, rude, and extreme bastards.

The Not-So-Beautiful side of Malaysians.

Here we have a group of people trying to uphold the constitution and the law. These are the people trying to resolve the rakyat’s problems and constantly striving forward, working towards the development of the country and the prosperity of the nation.

And there, we have a group of extremists, trying to be heroes of their own race and religion, ignoring the Real social problems like unemployment (currently at 3.6% and rising), inflation and the limping economic situation haunting our country, but focus religiously on worrying on whether the word “ALLAH” can create confusion among non-muslims and be exploited for the wrong reasons.

In the words of Kelantan Menteri Besar, Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, the word “ALLAH” should not be used by other religions, because it will lead to confusion among the Muslims.

“As Muslims we are afraid that the word ‘ALLAH‘ may be exploited to the extend that the Muslims may be confused when the word is used by Christians…. In the end, the church can become a Christian mosque so it will be better if the authorities stop other religions from using the word ‘ALLAH‘…”

The presence of Christianity has been on this land for centuries, since the days of the colonization of Malaya by the Portuguese, Dutch and even the British. Is GOD not spelled as ALLAH in Bahasa Melayu even way back in those times when services or mass were being celebrated for the locals? Why it didn’t confuse the Muslims back then? Why Now?

Come on guys.

This is only a matter of language and grammar for GOD’s (and/or ALLAH) sake!!!

Imagine you are in the US or Europe now and you attend a Muslim prayer session and the sermon is given in English. ALLAH in this case, will be spelled as GOD in English!

Is it possible or fair then, for the Christians in these countries to ban the Muslims in their country not to use the word GOD because it will be exploited or misused or be confused by the Muslims and other non-christians then?!!

If this were the case, imagine if you are a Muslim in the US and Europe and one day President Obama or Gordon Brown suddenly makes the following statement :

The word “GOD” should not be used by other religions, because it will lead to confusion among the Christians.

“As Christians we are afraid that the word ‘GOD‘ may be exploited to the extend that the Christians may be confused when the word is used by Muslims…. In the end, the Mosque can become a Muslim church so it will be better if the authorities stop other religions from using the word ‘GOD‘…”

What will you feel then, if you read the above statement and if you are a Muslim citizen in that country?

It is high time that the Muslims in this country realize that we are living in a secular country, and they MUST understand that to coexist with the other people in this country, they must also not only accept and respect the religion of others, but to SHARE even the nouns of the language used to bind all of us together.

In fact, ALLAH is a common colloquial among Malaysians and Singaporeans. Consider the following conversations :

Ah Lian : My boy friend don’t want to buy that Burberry beg for me wor… Why he so like that one?
Ah Hua : AL….. LAH. You go find another rich boy friend loh…

It will be conversely funny and odd, if one is suddenly forbidden of using the “ALLAH” word in their daily conversations and have to change to the word “GOD” or “TUHAN”. Imagine this :

Ah Lian : My boy friend don’t want to buy that Burberry beg for me wor… Why he so like that one?
Ah Hua : GO……………D. You go find another rich boy friend loh…

or

Ah Lian : My boy friend don’t want to buy that Burberry beg for me wor… Why he so like that one?
Ah Hua : TU……….HAN. You go find another rich boy friend loh…

So does that mean we Malaysians and Singaporeans have to stop using this colloquial too for fear that we may be brought to the Syariah Court to get our tongues cut off?

AL… LAH… PLEASE LAH… my fellow Malaysian citizens.

When will we ever Learn?

Gahmen want us to United as One. But are we treated as One?

So when I saw this logo earlier this year, for the first time in 26 years, I actually felt like I’m finally part of this country. Sharing the same aspirations like other fellow Malaysians, enjoying equal rights and benefits, irregardless of your gender, age, race or religion.

For the first time, I actually thought maybe the change has come. My children no longer need to worry about not being able to enter Gahmen universities with 8 A’s in SPM while their good friend sitting next to them with only 1 or 2 A’s gets a seat in Medicine in University Malaya because he/she carries a bin or a binti in the middle of their name. We, the non-bumiputeras, can finally enjoy same benefits with the bumiputeras, making us feel like part of the family and not being exploited for the first time…

Until I saw this advertisement not very long after on The Edge :

The "True" meaning of 1 Malaysia...

Non-bumiputeras apparently are required to pay an average of 3.33 times more for a house according to this advertisement of Sime Darby Property, based on a 7% discount given to the bumiputeras.

Why should it be like this?

There are many Malays, in all fairness to them (and whom I am close friends with), are smart, hardworking, and diligent. But if you’re a Malay and you’re reading this, and you happen to fall under the category of Malays whom I described above, won’t you feel ashamed to be given this unfair advantage over those non-bumiputeras whom you grew up, are friends with, and worked just as hard as you, if not more, to get to where they are?

It’s just like Vijay Singh being given a handicap when playing against Tiger Woods in a golf tournament and Tiger is forced to accept this advantage given to Vijay just because the golf tournament was held in Fiji Island in which Vijay Singh is a citizen and Tiger Woods a foreigner.

But where did Vijay’s ancestors originated? India (He’s Hindustan). He was born in Fiji.

Same goes to me. My ancestors were from China (I’m Hainanese). I was born in Malaysia and therefore a Malaysian citizen.

So why do I have accept that my bumiputera peers be given this unfair advantage when they are (or at least they claim to be) also as capable as I am?

IS THIS THE TRUE SPIRIT OF THIS 1 MALAYSIA THING?

I guess the Gahmen must have overlooked a typo on that logo they designed…

This should be the correct Logo...

On the 30th August 1986, a man by the name of Abdullah Ahmad, an Barisan Nasional MP from Kok Lanas then, delivered a speech on the “Issues in Malaysian Politics” at Singapore’s Institute of International Affairs. This was what he said :

“The Malays must be politically dominant in Malaysia as the Chinese are politically dominant in Singapore…”

“I know there are many Malays who have been telling me they would rather share poverty with Indonesia than see their political position eroded.”

He continued, saying :

“Without UMNO, as presently constituted, the future of the non-Malays would be bleak indeed”.

Now, for the 2nd time in 26 years, I suddenly felt like I’m not part of this country again

I feel everyone in Malaysia, irregardless of whether you are or you are not Muslim, should clearly know the implications in order for you to make a clear conscience choice if you do decide to convert into Islam.

So Here it is. It is self explanatory.

The Actual Document by the CBCM.

Cheers!

This video was never released before and reports are saying that since this accident, which resulted him going through a serious scalp injury due to 2nd degree burns, he developed an addiction to pain killers.

Check out the video below.

What a pity… Was it the defining moment that triggered off his Gila-fication 25 years down the road later?

The news on cnn.com.

According to this article from CNN, “…some 150 brides-to-be, mostly tribal women, were subject to “virginity tests” before their mass wedding on June 30 as part of a state government scheme.” If found otherwise, they will be rejected from the mass wedding and left to fend for themselves.

It jinxes me to realize that “tests” like these still exist in our modern and fast moving 21st century.

Virginity Tests? Wtf.

IMHO, if tests like these are still relevant today in say, Malaysia for instance, and if you’re no longer virgin, you’re not allowed to get married, then 80% of the population below 30 years old will be single for the rest of their lives, based on a result of a survey found here.

In today’s open minded society, I think this “test” is just plain bull crap.

However, out of curiosity, I decided to dwell deeper into what this “Virginity Test” is all about. Well, seems like Wikipedia has a clear answer to the definition of a Virginity Test :

“A virginity test is the practice and process of inspecting the genitalia of girls and women to determine if they are sexually chaste. It is based on the false^[1]assumption that a woman’s hymen can only be torn as a result of sexual intercourse.”

Like This?

Let's see... hmm... erm... ooo... oh... Congratulations! You're still Virgin!

The main problem with this virginity testing is that it is not exactly an accurate way of determining virginity. A woman or girl is normally determined a virgin if her hymen is intact. However, a woman’s hymen can be broken or eroded by masturbation and also a number of nonsexual activities, including exercising and working. Plus, the natural appearance of the hymen will vary from one person to the next; some women are even born without one. Therefore, the absence of a hymen is not a determining indicator that a woman is not a virgin.

Girls, this is how you check for your hymen!

Warning : Explicit image below. Exit this blog immediately if you can’t take explicit stuff.

If you've Got It, You're Virgin!

Another startling discovery is this : Virginity Tests ALSO applies to MEN & BOYS. Yes. In fact, it is a very common practice among some South African townships like Durban. Check this out :

“…Young boys also have hymen, white lacy skin on the foreskin … if the foreskin on the penis slips away easily, it means that the hymen is gone. If the foreskin is sore and hard to move, then it means he is still a virgin.

Other methods include checking for a certain vein on the penis – if it still can be seen, it means he is either still a virgin or that he has never slept with a virgin. The only time that the vein disappears is when a boy sleeps with a virgin because her vaginal opening is still tight.

If a boy urinates straight up into the air, he is a virgin. If the urine sprays, he has had sex before. Expert male virginity testers could determine virginity by looking at the colour of the knees. If a man’s knees are dark, he was not a virgin.

Read Here to find out more about the quote above.

Guys, there is only one way to find out.

Guys, do this to confirm whether you're still having your "Hymen" or not. Haha.

And Girls, feel free to check on your partner Like This.

This is how you can check for a man's virginity in Public. Beware of the Authorities alright.

How to interpret Results of Tests?

If the your man’s penis is like this :

Virgin Man.

Then you should be freaking happy, because he’s virgin The tradeoff? Experience in bed. Haha. Don’t put your expectations too high on this type of man ya.

If his penis looks like this :

Non-Virgin Man.

Then you should be still happy because he’s definitely got experience and all you have to do is to brace yourself for an excitement of a lifetime!

However, if his thing looks like this :

Expired Man.

Then you have 2 choices.

1. If he’s rich, then take his money, and do whatever you like, for instance shopping, traveling , or getting another man

2. If he’s poor, then you have another 2 choices.

a. Love him and be prepared to eat curry rice with anchovies for the rest of your life and be miserable.

b. Love him as a friend.

So, after all said, are you guys/girls still “Virgins”?

Check yours out NOW and give me a feedback!

HAHAHA.

Happy Hymen-ing!

Great civilization.

Shanghai, an icon of Chinese capitalism.

And Not-so-great-civilization.

Chinese toilets, an icon of Chinese Slum-doggylization.

But to me one of the best things to notice is the command of English of the Chinese there. Despite the Chinese government’s claim that their people’s level of English has increased dramatically (which I believe it’s true), we will still see some fantastic Chingrish being used there. A visit to a local restaurant will leave you in awe with this kind of menu…

Chingrish 1

Chingrish 2

Chingrish 3

Chingrish 4

So let’s visit China today!

So since the deadline of this program has already passed (9th Feb 2009), I shall pen down some of my views about this program.

Help GAB raise RM2.5 million for Chinese Schools. By getting tipsy. Or better still. Drunk.

I can’t help but feeling a bit pissed after seeing these series of advertisements, because maybe to you, this advertisement’s tagline is :

Help Us Raise RM2,500,000 for Chinese Education.

To me, the tagline reads :

Get Tipsy or Pissed Drunk in order to help Chinese Education or we ain’t gonna donate a freaking cent to them, You Drunkard!

In other words, to help donate more money to build Chinese Education, you should buy more Booze.

Well of course, you can always say to me, “I only buy but never drink them mah… For Chinese Education’s sake!” 

And I will say to you, “Cut your bullshit because no one will buy Booze because they want to help Chinese Education. They buy because they want to drink them!”

Like my friend here.

Normal Case.

And this friend.

Serious Case.

And this friend.

Gone Case.

So apparently what happens in this program is that whenever you buy any product from GAB, the company will donate a certain amount of money to a Chinese School in that vicinity.

1. 33 cents for every big bottle of Tiger, Guinness, Heineken or Anchor.

2. RM1.00 for every 2 jugs or 1 bucket of Tiger, Guinness or Heineken.

3. RM3.33 for every 27 can pack of Tiger, Guinness or Heineken.

4. RM1.33 for every 15 can pack of Anchor.

5. 50 cents for every 24 can pack of Anglia Shandy.

According to the Global Alcohol Policy Alliance, “Malaysia, though a small country, is the tenth largest consumer of alcohol in the world. Each year Malaysians spend over US$500million on alcohol.”

And “There are two main breweries, which are located in or near the capital city of Kuala Lumpur. Guinness Anchor Berhad is a joint venture between Guinness and Asia Pacific Breweries of Singapore, itself a joint venture with Heineken and a local soft drinks company. Carlsberg controls the largest shares of Carlsberg Brewery Malaysia Berhad.”

Ladies and Gentlemen. Assuming that GAB has a market share of say… 20% ONLY out of the US$500 million per year, that will make up to around US$100 million per year worth of revenue. That’s RM330 million based on today’s exchange rate. Perhaps higher.

And say if out of that RM350 million, GAB has a net profit of ONLY 3% after deducting expenses and dividends and taxes.

That’s RM10.5 million.

What’s RM2.5 million to GAB then? They could have just donated the money to Chinese Education, and take the money used on these printed advertisements to spend on a National Broadcast on how generous they are to Chinese Schools, instead of asking the public to “Help” them to help these Chinese Schools.

Because people ARE going to get drunk anyway, and they ARE going to buy GAB products anyway.

So why wanna have such a sarcastic campaign?