On the eve of the ninth moon, temples of the deities hold a ceremony to invoke and welcome the nine emperors. Since the arrival of the gods are believed to be through the waterways, processions are held from temples to the sea-shore or river to symbolize this belief. Devotees dressed in traditional white, carrying incense and candles, await the arrival of their excellencies.

A carnival-like atmosphere pervades the temple throughout the nine-day festival. During this period of time, the constant tinkling of a prayer bell and chants from the temple priests are heard. Most devotees stay at the temple, eat vegetarian meals and recite continuous chanting of prayer. It is believed that there will be rain throughout the nine days of celebration.

The ninth day of the festival is its climax. A procession which draws scores of devotees send the deities back home.

In Thailand, this festival is called Tesagan Gin Je เทศกาลกินเจ, the Vegetarian Festival. It is celebrated throughout the entire country, but the festivities are at their height in Phuket, where about 35% of the population is Chinese.

Mah Song

Mah song ม้าทรง are the people who invite the spirits of gods to possess their bodies. Mah ม้า is the word for horse in Thai, and the name mah song refers to how the spirits of the gods use the bodies of these people as a vehicle, as one rides a horse. Only pure, unmarried men or women without families of their own can become mah song. At the temple they undergo a series of rituals to protect them for the duration of the festival, during which flagellation and self-mutilation is practiced. This tradition does not exist in China and is believed to have been adopted from the Indian festival of Thaipusam.

The festivities in Phuket include a procession of mah song wearing elaborate costumes who pierce their cheeks and tongues with all manner of things, including swords…

Thick Needles…

Drilling Bits…

More swords…

Even Machine Guns…

Banners…

Swords again…

More Needles…

Saw…

Martial Arts Swords…

Grass Cutters…

and Model Ships you normally display in your living room too…

Well basically, anything they can poke through their mouth.

The mystery behind this is that this Mah Songs don’t feel any pain at all while entranced. In fact in the procession they will constantly shake their heads and dance as they walk, as if not paying attention to what’s ahead of them at all.

As unbelievable as it may seem, the fact that human beings can be entranced to withstand such deliberate infliction of wound on the flesh without pain is something worth awing about. Some may say it’s spirits taking over the human body and scientists may argue that it’s just an issue of Mind Over Matter, a testimony of how powerful the human brain is and what it is capable of doing.

What do you think?

Credits :  wikipedia.com

GROs or Prostitutes are people who will provide a certain service (eg. Sex) to a Client in exchange of money.

So he thinks he can expect the same reciprocal actions or “service” (in this case votes) just by declaring that he could just make deals and give money away. Watch this video, and then watch the next one.

I guess he might have watched this video before making this speech.

Imagine this video being broadcasted all over the world for others to see. How would other countries view our PM, and consequently, Malaysia?

Shame. A complete shame to our nation’s pride and dignity.

But I was stubborn enough to ignore their pleas. So I still went there as planned.

And turns out they’re not harmful at all.

To really experience what was going on, I went to their camp near Khao San road, where I was amazed at how organized this whole campaign is. They were occupying the whole street, and 2 long stretches of tents are set up at both sides of the road. It was divided into sections.

Here’s the vehicle parking area, where all the vehicles used to transport demonstrators and goods are parked.

Here’s the Supply House, where vegetables, meat and other food supplies can be found. There were a few cooks at the back of the tents busy cooking meals; most likely for the demonstrators.

Banners demanding the Thai government to dissolve the parliament to pave way for fresh elections can be seen all over the place.

And it’s pretty obvious who’s behind all these activities. No surprise, because Thaksin is probably one of the very few guys in Thailand capable of funding such campaigns for such a long time…

There is a section where all of the demonstrators rest and sleep. Poor guys. Have to sleep on the road like this.

And towards the end of the road, there’s a roundabout and this is where the main stage is located. I was told that every night, talks like this one will be held by the various leaders of the Red Shirts.

You’ll be wondering, where do they do their hygiene business then? Well, apparently mobile toilets like this one are everywhere around the camp.

I felt like pissing at that time as well, and decided to go there and relieve myself.

Every thing is made of stainless steel. Very impressive. Doesn’t smell that bad too. Better than the Public Toilets in Malaysia.

There’s also some booths along the street selling merchandizes to raise funds and awareness. Products ranged from T-Shirts, badges, keychains, caps and stickers. I got excited and bought a couple of badges at 20 baht each as souvenirs

But were they aggressive and unfriendly towards strangers and tourists? No. In fact a few of them who spoke English were quite hospitable towards me when I asked them about their situation and what was really going on.

I don’t think things would be the same if this were to happen in Malaysia. For starters, the leaders of such an organization will be termed illegal and arrested under the ISA. How to have demonstration when you have a chicken with no head?

I was also “fortunate” enough to also witness their demonstration the same afternoon. Here are some photos taken during their parade at King Rama IV roundabout :

Can someone translate this for me?

Even the police can't do much to stop them. Just let them be lah.

I won't mind joining her if she agrees to be my girl friend ;-p

But seriously I wonder. They estimate about 50,000 people participating in this campaign. At the time I was there it was already their 8th day campaigning. They don’t need to work one meh?

You’ll be more famous than Shah Rukh Khan if you know how to do this

Download the video here.

Alex Ferguson and TM Ceo Datuk Zamzam

The deal will make TM the official integrated telecommunications partner of the English Premier League in Malaysia, with rights to produce and distribute Manchester United merchandizes. This partnership with allow TM to broadcast and spread its brand image to 4.2 million MU fans in Malaysia and hundreds of millions football fans around the world.

Though the financial details of the sponsorship have yet to be disclosed, being accustomed to the culture of Boleh-land, I have a strong feeling that the sponsorship amount for this deal is not going to be small.

After all, we everything also Boleh, everything also want to be number 1 :

1 Malaysia also 1.

1 Utama also 1.

1 Borneo also 1.

1 Tan Mee also 1.

And guess who’s the actual sponsors? You. Me. The tax and bill payers.

Congratulations people!

So I’m guessing that beginning next EPL season, we should be seeing some dynamic and innovative changes to the Manchester United image. Here are my speculations :

First, the TM logo will be emblazoned on the beautiful jersey of Manchester United.

This is the old design. So boring, right?

AIG is Boring.

Unlike the new design, way much COOLER!

TM is Cool!

This is to signify the strength of a Malaysian conglomerate taking over from AIG, one of the largest insurance companies in the world.

So what? AIG only mah. They also now facing financial problems what. Not like TM, very the strong! Got government to back them!

To help further propagate and market the 1 Malaysia agenda, all Manchester United Stores will be selling this jersey at 53% discount.

53% off!

The discount is to commemorate our 53 years of merdeka from the British! 47% will be subsidized by the Malaysian government.

For those who hate the 1 Malaysia logo, they will have a more neutral design to cater for people with different tastes

This one not so Geli.

Lastly, to further promote our Malaysia culture and heritage, they will be also coming out with a special edition jersey, only to be worn during the Champions League Final.

The Special Edition of MU jersey. Must BUY!

THE BATIK MU JERSEY.

If Endon (ex PM’s wife) were still alive, she will SO HAPPY to see this!

Even Sir Alex Ferguson will be a big supporter of our traditional fabric.

He will be wearing this at the training grounds and no one will take him seriously!

I think I’ll become an Arsenal fan for the next 5 years.

Arsenal, got any openings in your Fan Club?

We are a nation with a potpourri of healthy, tolerant, understanding, harmonious, polite, and hospitable people.

The Beautiful side of Malaysians.

At the same time, we also have a pool of hideous, insensitive, selfish, moronic, rude, and extreme bastards.

The Not-So-Beautiful side of Malaysians.

Here we have a group of people trying to uphold the constitution and the law. These are the people trying to resolve the rakyat’s problems and constantly striving forward, working towards the development of the country and the prosperity of the nation.

And there, we have a group of extremists, trying to be heroes of their own race and religion, ignoring the Real social problems like unemployment (currently at 3.6% and rising), inflation and the limping economic situation haunting our country, but focus religiously on worrying on whether the word “ALLAH” can create confusion among non-muslims and be exploited for the wrong reasons.

In the words of Kelantan Menteri Besar, Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, the word “ALLAH” should not be used by other religions, because it will lead to confusion among the Muslims.

“As Muslims we are afraid that the word ‘ALLAH‘ may be exploited to the extend that the Muslims may be confused when the word is used by Christians…. In the end, the church can become a Christian mosque so it will be better if the authorities stop other religions from using the word ‘ALLAH‘…”

The presence of Christianity has been on this land for centuries, since the days of the colonization of Malaya by the Portuguese, Dutch and even the British. Is GOD not spelled as ALLAH in Bahasa Melayu even way back in those times when services or mass were being celebrated for the locals? Why it didn’t confuse the Muslims back then? Why Now?

Come on guys.

This is only a matter of language and grammar for GOD’s (and/or ALLAH) sake!!!

Imagine you are in the US or Europe now and you attend a Muslim prayer session and the sermon is given in English. ALLAH in this case, will be spelled as GOD in English!

Is it possible or fair then, for the Christians in these countries to ban the Muslims in their country not to use the word GOD because it will be exploited or misused or be confused by the Muslims and other non-christians then?!!

If this were the case, imagine if you are a Muslim in the US and Europe and one day President Obama or Gordon Brown suddenly makes the following statement :

The word “GOD” should not be used by other religions, because it will lead to confusion among the Christians.

“As Christians we are afraid that the word ‘GOD‘ may be exploited to the extend that the Christians may be confused when the word is used by Muslims…. In the end, the Mosque can become a Muslim church so it will be better if the authorities stop other religions from using the word ‘GOD‘…”

What will you feel then, if you read the above statement and if you are a Muslim citizen in that country?

It is high time that the Muslims in this country realize that we are living in a secular country, and they MUST understand that to coexist with the other people in this country, they must also not only accept and respect the religion of others, but to SHARE even the nouns of the language used to bind all of us together.

In fact, ALLAH is a common colloquial among Malaysians and Singaporeans. Consider the following conversations :

Ah Lian : My boy friend don’t want to buy that Burberry beg for me wor… Why he so like that one?
Ah Hua : AL….. LAH. You go find another rich boy friend loh…

It will be conversely funny and odd, if one is suddenly forbidden of using the “ALLAH” word in their daily conversations and have to change to the word “GOD” or “TUHAN”. Imagine this :

Ah Lian : My boy friend don’t want to buy that Burberry beg for me wor… Why he so like that one?
Ah Hua : GO……………D. You go find another rich boy friend loh…

or

Ah Lian : My boy friend don’t want to buy that Burberry beg for me wor… Why he so like that one?
Ah Hua : TU……….HAN. You go find another rich boy friend loh…

So does that mean we Malaysians and Singaporeans have to stop using this colloquial too for fear that we may be brought to the Syariah Court to get our tongues cut off?

AL… LAH… PLEASE LAH… my fellow Malaysian citizens.

When will we ever Learn?

The news on cnn.com.

According to this article from CNN, “…some 150 brides-to-be, mostly tribal women, were subject to “virginity tests” before their mass wedding on June 30 as part of a state government scheme.” If found otherwise, they will be rejected from the mass wedding and left to fend for themselves.

It jinxes me to realize that “tests” like these still exist in our modern and fast moving 21st century.

Virginity Tests? Wtf.

IMHO, if tests like these are still relevant today in say, Malaysia for instance, and if you’re no longer virgin, you’re not allowed to get married, then 80% of the population below 30 years old will be single for the rest of their lives, based on a result of a survey found here.

In today’s open minded society, I think this “test” is just plain bull crap.

However, out of curiosity, I decided to dwell deeper into what this “Virginity Test” is all about. Well, seems like Wikipedia has a clear answer to the definition of a Virginity Test :

“A virginity test is the practice and process of inspecting the genitalia of girls and women to determine if they are sexually chaste. It is based on the false^[1]assumption that a woman’s hymen can only be torn as a result of sexual intercourse.”

Like This?

Let's see... hmm... erm... ooo... oh... Congratulations! You're still Virgin!

The main problem with this virginity testing is that it is not exactly an accurate way of determining virginity. A woman or girl is normally determined a virgin if her hymen is intact. However, a woman’s hymen can be broken or eroded by masturbation and also a number of nonsexual activities, including exercising and working. Plus, the natural appearance of the hymen will vary from one person to the next; some women are even born without one. Therefore, the absence of a hymen is not a determining indicator that a woman is not a virgin.

Girls, this is how you check for your hymen!

Warning : Explicit image below. Exit this blog immediately if you can’t take explicit stuff.

If you've Got It, You're Virgin!

Another startling discovery is this : Virginity Tests ALSO applies to MEN & BOYS. Yes. In fact, it is a very common practice among some South African townships like Durban. Check this out :

“…Young boys also have hymen, white lacy skin on the foreskin … if the foreskin on the penis slips away easily, it means that the hymen is gone. If the foreskin is sore and hard to move, then it means he is still a virgin.

Other methods include checking for a certain vein on the penis – if it still can be seen, it means he is either still a virgin or that he has never slept with a virgin. The only time that the vein disappears is when a boy sleeps with a virgin because her vaginal opening is still tight.

If a boy urinates straight up into the air, he is a virgin. If the urine sprays, he has had sex before. Expert male virginity testers could determine virginity by looking at the colour of the knees. If a man’s knees are dark, he was not a virgin.

Read Here to find out more about the quote above.

Guys, there is only one way to find out.

Guys, do this to confirm whether you're still having your "Hymen" or not. Haha.

And Girls, feel free to check on your partner Like This.

This is how you can check for a man's virginity in Public. Beware of the Authorities alright.

How to interpret Results of Tests?

If the your man’s penis is like this :

Virgin Man.

Then you should be freaking happy, because he’s virgin The tradeoff? Experience in bed. Haha. Don’t put your expectations too high on this type of man ya.

If his penis looks like this :

Non-Virgin Man.

Then you should be still happy because he’s definitely got experience and all you have to do is to brace yourself for an excitement of a lifetime!

However, if his thing looks like this :

Expired Man.

Then you have 2 choices.

1. If he’s rich, then take his money, and do whatever you like, for instance shopping, traveling , or getting another man

2. If he’s poor, then you have another 2 choices.

a. Love him and be prepared to eat curry rice with anchovies for the rest of your life and be miserable.

b. Love him as a friend.

So, after all said, are you guys/girls still “Virgins”?

Check yours out NOW and give me a feedback!

HAHAHA.

Happy Hymen-ing!

It is very common to see women carrying stuff on their heads if you visit any South East Asian country.

And I thought to myself : Only people in this region know how to carry things well with their heads. Of course, we see Indians and Africans doing the same too and it really doesn’t surprises me really much.

Until I saw this clip.

What didn’t strike me was that Bangladeshis CAN do this too. And boy they can do it REALLY WELL. Watch this video and you’ll know what I mean:

My perceptions changed. Asians or Africans are no match for these Bangladeshis.

If my calculations didn’t fail me, that guy actually managed to stack 22 bricks on his freakin’ head. A brick weighs around 2kgs on average. Which means that guy will carry 44kgs on his head every round. Notice he took turns with another guy. And after that he could still balance himself on that boat and walk across the water on that thin, narrow plank.

My God.

Sigh. Imagine after a few years working like this, will he end up from this :

Normal neck length.

To this ???

Not so normal neck length.

Moral of the Story : We are still very lucky to be living in Malaysia.

Do you remember those days where men used to wear super short pants, especially during sports activities? They normally call it the Retro Shorts. It looks like this.

Hot Pants

This type of shorts was very popular from the 1940s till the 1980s, and is worn in almost all major sports activities. Like Rugby.

Geli.

It still looks sexy to certain men with great body builds, but people today don’t wear this type of pants anymore on the streets.

If you do see one, it’s gonna be really eye catching and hilarious.

Hot Hot...

I was in Jonker Street yesterday night catching some drinks with my mates when suddenly I saw this guy (Yes, it’s a man. Not a she man) walking pass our table, looking as if he’s not wearing any shorts.

With another careful glance, I couldn’t believe my eyes when he was in fact, wearing a retro short! And he matched it with Japanese flip-flops and an oversized beige-colored polo t-shirt!

WTF???!!!!

A careful analysis of the fashion disaster…

Somebody kill me!

WAH LAN EH !!!!

Is this a sign that the Retro Shorts will be back on our fashion trends?

If it is, I’m gonna wear like this to Pure Bar next time! Hahaha….

Genting Highlands...

Last weekend during the Hari Raya holidays, the brotherhood formed a 2 days 1 night trip to Genting, the city of entertainment.

So they say.

I feel that the tagline “City of Entertainment” only applies to kids, or any boy or girl who are not aged enough to enter the casino.

For the rest of us who are old enough to enter that place, it’s more logical for us to call it the “City of Empty-tainment”. Because everytime you go into the casino, more often than not you will end up like this.

Confirm Win one lah!

How many of you will agree with me on this?

Going to the Genting Casino is like a never-ending cycle of the saga of Malaysian politics.

For instance, we always dress up really nicely, and walk into the casino full of confidence and style. And then we find a table which we hypothetically think that could pay us tons of cash, wait for a chair and sit there, looking very serious, very confident that we are going to Win big.

Like Balasubramaniam.

Confirm Win!

And then not even 24 hours later, we walk out of the casino looking like this. 

Also like Balasubramaniam.

I was supposed to Confirm Win...

There is also another theory, saying that ever since the founder of Genting died, the casino has been “donating” a lot of wins to the gamblers as a sign of gratitude over their continuous support. They say that Uncle Lim (Lim Goh Tong’s nickname) is now the “God of Wealth” circling the casino everyday, donating money to gamblers in need of money to raise their kids. 

Imagine.

Uncle Lim donating money to the poor through his casino. Helping us to lead better lives and to give better financial security to our families.

Uncle Lim the God of Wealth

Bull Shit. 

The truth is, WE are the Gods of Wealth who are the ones always donating money to Uncle Lim! We (the gamblers and the poor) are the ones who help him to lead a better life and to allow him to give better financial security to his families.

We the actual Gods of Wealth!

And today they are so successful they’re already building another casino in Singapore. A freaking big one too.

Genting Singapore!

All because of Gods of Wealth like us to give him the financial means to do so.

The Real Gods of Wealth!

During the trip, the brotherhood attempted the Napoleon Bonarparte stunt again. This time on Jiaye. However, their efforts came to no avail when Jiaye put up a strong defense and erm… wore a button shirt (Harder to strip).

We Came.

We Came

We Saw.

We Attacked

We Failed. Not the next time though.

We Failed

But all in all it was a good trip. Get to spend some quality time with my buddies.

And I nearly stroked the Jackpot and nearly became an instant millionaire.

A brush with 1 million ringgit?

Looking forward for the next one.

The Brotherhood @ Genting

Kai Shyuan : CONGRATULATIONS.

James : CONGRATUELISEONS.

Cheers.