The Malaysian Mak-we

A true beautiful Malaysian.

The Chase

If you go after any girl whose nationality is Malaysian, you must learn how to speak romantically like a Malaysian, because irregardless of any of their main languages (English, Malay or Chinese), the slang or colloquial languages are the same. Here are some examples of the colloquial language you need to use (can be applied to Singaporean Lionesses as well):

lah (a.k.a la, leh, ler, le, laa…)

A word without any meaning used in almost any sentence. Just add it at the back of any sentence you say.

Sentence making e.g.:

You : Heys, your are beautiful, because I think your hair is as curly as Maggi Mee lah… and your face… oh your face… is like… erm… the Moon leh…

Malaysian Girl : Oh really ah? Aiyer… why you so lomantic one laa….

Sample :

Used by Juanito. When he's angry. You can try using it too!

Read more about Juanito’s entries here.

lor (a.k.a lo, loh,)

Used in almost any sentence where you try to explain something. Like lah, just add it at the back of any sentence you say.

Sentence making e.g.:

You : Wei, you seriously don’t have boy friend yet ah?

Malaysian Girl : *Blushing* Yeah lor…….

Sample :

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kao kao

It means = Very (in a very very very, “very” way). Be careful not to make mistakes when you use it, because you can only use this work after the adjective, not before. Meaning you can say “He’s handsome kao kao.” But you cannot say “He’s kao kao handsome.“

Sentence making e.g.:

You : Heys, do you think Icyqueengoddess will be mad with Samantha Poh over the Kenny Sia case?

Malaysian Girl : Of course! I’m sure Icyqueengoddess will hentam her kao kao man… And she will also cry kao kao too!

Sample :

Used by everyone following the Kenny Sia, Sam, and Icq case!

The First Date

You bring her to karaoke. Even if she sounds like Marilyn Manson, just pretend that she sounded like Marilyn Monroe.

The Second Date

You bring her for Japanese food and you’re shocked to see that she orders a lot of sashimi (because it’s much more expensive than the Egg Roll sushi you’re having). In the conversation with her she mentions Teddy, a name that sounds like a man’s name, and she tells you that he’s the best thing that ever happened to her. Don’t panic or get jealous. 90% of the time, that “he” is a Dog. To double check and be safe, switch the conversation topic to Dogs in order to verify.

The Rest of the Dates. If applicable.

If you happen to also love Dogs, and you don’t mind her reading until she sleeps on the couch everyday and make you sleep alone in bed, and if you have money to buy her everything and bring her around the world to places as stated in her wish list, I’m sure you both are going to live happily ever after

The Thai “Tiger” (or Thai Girl)

One of the hottest girls (or guys) in the World!

The Chase

You met her in some club in Bangkok. She looks at you. You look at her. She beckons you to go over. You walk over and buy her a drink. She’s gorgeous, pretty, tall, slim, tanned. My goodness, you thought. This must be the love of my life!

The First Date

You decided to take this relationship step by step. You take her for Thai boxing. The night ends very nicely and you bring her back home without having the slightest thought of pounding her. Because you think she’s the one, and you want to take things slow.

The Second Date

You bring her for Tom Yam Kung with added mushrooms. As she uses her fork to lift the juicy mushroom from the soup, you watched as she gently and slowly puts it in her mouth, and erotically chew it and swallow in it while looking straight into your eye. Suddenly you heard a loud thud that came under your table. Oh shit, you thought. It’s your dick.

The Third Date

You say to yourself, alright, tonight’s the night! And both of you had a romantic time. She suggests that you bring her back to your place. You said yes. And as both of you kiss, caress, and gently strip each other’s clothes off, you suddenly saw a somewhat familiar looking organ sticking outside her base. There must be a mirror there, you thought. And you realized that it’s impossible to have a mirror down there.

And all of a sudden, your world started crumbling down. Like an avalanche. Like the land slide in Bukit Antarabangsa.

Ah Kua. Pondan. She-man. Miss Lady Boy. @#$%^&!*

Because she’s a bloody, mother-f**king – Ah Kua.

And you decided to stay single for the rest of your life.

If you wish to read Part 1 of this topic, Here it is.